Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Resolutions/For a few years there, I lost myself.

I want to write more. I want to proscrastinate less. I hate proofreading and predict I won't proofread this blog much.

Some History: (Never feel sorry for me. I don't want anyone wasting time on that)

It's been a long road. School, school, followed by more school and then bar exams and more bar exams and I was very tired. I love adverbs and I don't care what you think. I was tired of studying. I was tired of living in libraries. I love libraries. But I was tired of having to go to libraries to study. I read so much throughout law school and spent so much time studying for school and for the bars that I was burnt.

I was in a terrible terrible TERRIBLE job that was paying a lot less then I was making before law school, which wasn't much. Something clicked one day. I don't know what it was. I know I read about how there are only two kinds of lawyers. There are lawyers that work for themselves and lawyers that work for other lawyers. I was working for other lawyers. The experience wasn't worth it. I didn't want to do the kind of work I was doing. Bankruptcy law. Kill me now. You can't take experience in bankruptcy law and transition to family law you can only do more bankruptcy law so I was wasting time.

I always wanted to do family law. Stop laughing. I want to help people. I know it's the bottom of the bottom but that is what I wanted to do. Being a bankruptcy attorney is lower then that. I decided rather quickly to give notice. Giving notice didn't go well. They thought I was going to stay forever. Ha! I was there for just one week short of a year. I was there as an attorney only three months. I am glad I was only getting paid crap for three months.

So I quit. I had nothing on the horizon. Huge loans to pay off but I took a chance. I was making so little that it wouldn't be hard to find another job making so little. Within two weeks I had a job making double. It is the worst job for an attorney. Document review. But I loved it. 8 minute commute. Nice town. NO STRESS. I can't explain how important this is. No stress is awesome. I get paid well but with doc review there is no room to move up. It is what it is. If I did this for five years I would be getting paid the same for five years. I AM NOT COMPLAINING. Some people don't have jobs etc etc. This isn't a pity party it's just my story of how I got to today.

For well over ten years I have been thinking of those books and screenplays I would write. Years would roll on by and nothing down on paper. Before I quit my attorney job I took a week off for my birthday and went nowhere. I stayed home and I wrote. I didn't write much. But I wrote. I put my notice in a few weeks later and then I started the doc review job. I started making some money doing doc review. I paid bills. I got caught up with life. Things were going well. Things are going well. And then...nothing.

Not a thing. I was working. No stress. Just chillin. I get to surf at work inbetween clicking on documents and there was nothing. Excuses were gone. Bars were passed. Degrees were granted. School was over. Money was being made. NO EXCUSES. Nothing was there to hold me back. I spent a lot of my time on school. When I do something I do it full speed ahead. Life just sort of stopped. It was time to write.

And here I am. Writing. I am writing almost everyday. I am writing what I love. It took me a while to learn I could write what I love. I want to write nonerotica too. But this is my passion. They say do what you love. I love porn. I love writing. My English teacher yelled at me when she learned I was majoring in business for undergrad. She said: "YOU ARE A WRITER!" I printed that statement out and put it on my wall. That was a long time ago. But I never forgot it.

I am a writer.  I may not be awesome. I may have a lot to learn, but I am a writer. It's in my heart and in the fabric of my being. I live to entertain. I live to tell stories. It's all I use my personal Facebook page for, to entertain and get my words out there. This is the beginning of another journey. A long journey. I didn't decide to write one day; I have been wanting to write for years. The storm is over. The waters are calm.

If you stumbled across my blog, thanks for coming by.  I don't want to use this place as a billboard. There is enough of that out there. I want to use this blog to connect with people. I want to write what people want to read. I want to hear from readers and connect. The most important thing on my professional resume that sums up all my skills is that I build relationships. And I hope I can do that here.

Looking forward to kicking 2012 in the balls!